Why We Never Lose Hope for Eating Disorder Recovery

At Balanced Nutrition Therapy, we often joke that none of us could keep a plant alive if our lives depended on it. With logos like a sunflower and programs named things like the Bloom & Grow Blueprint, one might infer that we’re some kind of gardening wizards. And they'd be very wrong. It’s honestly a bit of a running joke around here.

But here’s the thing: sometimes, we all need a little help to grow. And growth, just like a plant, doesn’t always look the same for everyone. Maybe it’s not that we’re hopeless—it’s just that we need to meet ourselves—or others—where we’re at. If we were all trying to grow in the same way, it’d be like trying to make a cactus bloom in the middle of a rainstorm. It just doesn’t work.

Let me tell you a story to illustrate this…

I’ve been married for… well, long enough that my mother-in-law has been trying to turn me into someone who can keep a plant alive for nearly as long. The first year, she gifted me some beautiful flowers for my birthday. I’d tell you what kind they were, but since I don’t know anything about flowers, I’ll spare you the confusion. They were pretty, though.

A week later, they were dead. The flowers had met their tragic end, and I had no idea what happened. They didn’t even have the decency to go out slowly—just poof, gone. When she asked, “What went wrong?” I just stared blankly at her. “Uh… I tried?”

The next year, she came back with another set of flowers—but this time, she didn’t just leave me to my own devices. She handed me detailed instructions on how to plant them and when to water them. “Surely, this will do the trick!” I thought. But nope. They lasted a little longer, but still, they were gone before their time. Cue the dramatic sigh.

The following year, she didn’t give up. She bought me a pot, planted the flowers for me, and even handed me a foolproof watering schedule. “This time, I’ve got it!” I thought. But, of course, just like the others, they didn’t stand a chance.

By the fourth year, when I saw the beautiful flowers, I was gearing up for the ultimate plant-saving battle. What could I do this time to make sure they survived?  What could I do to make sure I didn’t fail, yet again…

And then I realized… they were fake.

Turns out, my mother-in-law had finally figured out what I had yet to admit; sometimes, no matter how much you want something to work, you need to adjust the level of support to match reality. She realized that handing me the same flowers with slightly different instructions year after year wasn’t helping. What I actually needed was a different approach altogether. 

That’s a lot like eating disorder recovery.

Some people need a little nudge in the right direction, like handing them a plant (or meal plan) and letting them figure it out on their own. Others need more of a hands-on approach with step-by-step instructions, complete with grocery shopping and meal support. And, occasionally, the best thing you can do for someone is throw out the old playbook and provide a completely new solution. It might not be what you originally planned, but it’s what they need right now. And hey, that’s okay!

Recovery is rarely a straightforward process, I suppose, kind of like my gardening. One day you might feel like you’re thriving, and the next day, you’re wondering if your plant is definitely dead for good. But just like you can’t force a sunflower to bloom in December, you can’t force your recovery to follow a set timeline. Some days will be better than others, and sometimes you might need to adjust your approach. Maybe you need more structure, more support, or maybe you need a fake plant (just kidding... sort of).

And here’s the fun part: recovery can be a journey full of surprise victories! 

I was given a gorgeous plant for Christmas from a client, I looked at my client and said, I’m really sorry, I don’t have a green thumb, at all…they said, this one doesn’t require much at all.  (I’ve heard that before…hmmf.) Maybe that one plant you were convinced was doomed to fail is actually alive and thriving now. That’s like eating disorder recovery—just when you think it’s all hopeless, there might be a breakthrough. You might discover that the “perfect” approach was the one that you least expected.

We often see clients who require different approaches at various points in their journey. One week, you might just need a reality check or some guidance with a specific meal. Another time, you might need support with tackling an exposure. Sometimes, all it takes is the encouragement or accountability to help you "water" yourself along the way. It's easy to wish you were further along or to believe you should be in a different place in your recovery, but the key is to meet yourself where you are. By acknowledging where you truly are, you can give yourself the support and tools you need to grow.

There’s no one-size-fits-all method for recovery. Sometimes you need to try something new, just like I had to come to terms with my plant “skills.” Whether it’s a support group, supported individual or small group meals, 1:1 sessions, a different approach in session or something a little unconventional, we’re here to meet you where you’re at, in all your growth stages. And sometimes, that means adjusting the plan to something that actually works.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, that gorgeous plant of a Christmas gift, is still blooming and thriving (and it’s March- yo!)  Just when you think you’ve tried it all, and you’re sure you’re hopeless, there might be a solution out there that fits perfectly with where you’re at. So, maybe, just maybe, there’s hope after all.

Proof of the living plant. If we can keep this alive (and blooming beautifully!) then there is definitely hope for your recovery.